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*deep sigh* Wow. I mean where do I begin? Sooooo much has gone on lately and after a quick conversation with my life coach, Kerri R. Smith-Osei, all I can do is chalk it up to karma, learn from it and move the hell on.
I’ve had relationships end and ties severed. Some were my doing. Others weren’t. Well…they were all my doing but….some of the these relationships I ended and some of them were ended with me. And in the grand scheme of things it’s fine. It’s all a learning experience, right? Am I hurt? Yes. Will I be ok? Of course. Have I learned some things? Abso-fucking-lutely. Take notes fam.
Never depend on anyone for your basic survival needs. Housing. Food. Transportation. Basically the bare minimum that you need to go out and generate that coin for yourself….find a way to get and maintain it on your own. Don’t rely on others for these things. And if you can’t find a way, make one by any mean necessary (I do not condone illegal activity so do NOT put me or this blog posting in your statement at booking when your ass get caught the fuck up). This is your livelihood, your survival. Do you really want your life in the palm of someone else’s hand? And granted times are hard and situations can be even harder. If you find yourself relying on others for any of those things, have a plan of moving towards self sufficiency and don’t get too relaxed, comfortable or complacent. The rug can be snatched from up under you without notice and you want to make sure you can land solidly on two feet.
Never mix business with pleasure. Just don’t. And I think we all know the kind of pleasure I’m talking about. I know you’ve heard this saying before. That shit is the truest thing I’ve heard since Saturday when Beyoncé broke the internet and my life with Formation. Take it from me, just don’t do it.
When doing business, ALWAYS take care of business by sealing it in writing. Protect yourself, your work and your worth by having a contract in place. Don’t do anything for anyone without a contract being in place. The moment you decide to do business with someone is the moment when you have to separate any personal ties and emotions from the situation and protect yourself legally. Respect yourself enough to protect yourself. Set boundaries on what you will do and how much you will be compensated for it. This will eliminate any signals from being crossed later on down the road if emotions happen to creep up in the mix.
Actions speak louder than words and titles. Maya Angelou said it best when she said, “If someone shows you who they truly are, believe them.” We get so caught up in our rose tinted perception of people that we neglect to see all of the evidence of their character that’s in plain sight. The perception really gets obscure when you give a person a certain weight holding role or title in your life. Society has taught us that certain roles and titles comes with certain predetermined characteristics and responsibilities. I’m learning this is not true. Life is not cookie cutter. You make your own rules. You must first evaluate and give meaning to these titles and roles in your life and picture the characteristics you would want a person filling that role to have. As people show up in your life, take time to really get to know them. See them as the person they are showing you. Are they someone who deserves a certain role or title in your life? Move accordingly.
Not everyone is meant to have a front row seat in your life. This includes family. This goes hand-in-hand with the previous lesson: take a long hard look at the person they show you. That IS the person they are. Believe it! Ask yourself if this is the type of person you want to have around on an intimate, front row to the stage play called Your Life kind of level. If the answer is no, set the proper boundaries and love them from afar. Also, don’t let anyone shame you into feeling bad for doing what you need to do to take care of and protect yourself.
Sometimes Karma truly feels like she’s being a bitch and that’s ok. Keywords here: feels like. I just realized I don’t really care for the sentiment “Karma’s a bitch.” I see Karma as Law of Attraction’s sister that everyone calls the trouble marker of the family. And Life is their cousin. And these three roll tighter than any squad you know. They were in formation before Beyoncé called any of us to attention. Sooooo if you’re calling Karma a bitch, then you’re calling Law of Attraction AND Life a bitch….so what does that say about you relationship with all three…particularly YOUR LIFE!? See where I’m going with this? Karma is just another tool that the Universe uses to teach you a lesson from time to time. Do we like it? Hell no. But can we learn from it? I bet all the hot sauce in my bag that you can! You have to make the conscious decision to not be a victim in your life and take responsibility for the role that you play in the things that happen. Do that and you’ll keep Karma from having to get in your ass but you also learn to respect her when she does.
Life is all about having as many experiences as possible. I’m grateful for the experiences turned lessons I’ve been having lately and I look forward to what’s on the horizon for me. The more aligned with Self I become, the more aware of my role in my life I become, and Karma, Law of Attraction, Life and I form the dopest bond ever. Like I said, Karma ain’t a bitch after all.
I Am Chantell Denise 